All my life I’ve been a procrastinator. I’ve always known this, of course, but something suddenly dawned on me yesterday. I came home after a long evening with my family, a nice evening, but a tiring one. I walked upstairs to my office to put my jacket away and saw the messy state the room was in. I’ve never been the neatest person, but this was bad even for me. I picked up a few things and put them away, but that was about all I could manage at that moment. I’ll do the rest later, I thought, and that’s when I said to myself, there I go procrastinating again.
It’s like I know what I need to do, but unless I feel this overwhelming pressure to get it done, I tend to leave things for later. I almost always eventually get around to it. Rarely will I ever let things get too out of hand. But I can’t seem to avoid procrastinating first.
I’m not proud of being a procrastinator. I’m guessing my life would be better if I didn’t procrastinate so much. But it’s like they say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and this is how I’ve been my entire life. As a student I was always the type to wait until the last minute to study for my next test, or write my next paper. It’s like I was incapable of taking action without the pressure reaching a boiling point, the moment when I realize that if I don’t start now, I might actually fail. And as if by magic, I always seem to know exactly when to get started so I finish in the nick of time.
It’s how I got through school, and my career, and even marriage. Thankfully, I’ve always somehow managed to pass the exam, or get that promotion at work, and to even find the right girl. But yesterday I realized that I’m starting to feel that pressure again, only this time it wasn’t about some piece of homework, or a project I need to get done for my job, but about my life. I guess I’ve finally reached that age where I realize I no longer have forever. That chances are, the years I have left may be less than the years I’ve already lived, and if I want to make my dreams come true, I better get moving sooner than later.
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